Am I still there?

The day I thought about future, the day I invested the answer.

I died before being killed.

Am I still there?

Imagine the old pictures captured every moments of togetherness,

Reminiscing the stories about life of duos,

Those are becoming hard and heavy.

Am I still there?

Remember the words of love you’ve made on my birthday, and how you shared affirmations everyday, made me feel so small, so weak, cause the stories went different.

I was thinking I could wait, but I can’t even take a breath and pretend that everything is ok.

Your words.. It’s same as swords.

It could stab me right in the heart.

You putted it and took care of it for more than three years, stroked it gently, and you can pull it hard when you think you’re ready.

You did, and I’m not ready at all.

I will never be ready.

You pulled it hard, blood schattered on the ground, my heart hurts.

You’ve made wound inside, and you leave me while I sprawled, I can’t even move my leg.

Am I still there?

Even for a second? Even for a small thing?

Even for a tiny kindness I’ve made?

Am I still there?

Eventhough I’m still me?

Eventhough I couldn’t be the best version of a woman you’ve wanted?

Am I still there?

Yes, I bet the answer is no.

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Sebuah perjalanan pencarian jati diri. Tempat misuh-misuh. IG: agniciarana #MemulaiKembali

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Agnicia Rana

Sebuah perjalanan pencarian jati diri. Tempat misuh-misuh. IG: agniciarana #MemulaiKembali